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Updated: Jun 23, 2022

“Can I still be friend with LGBTQ+ people?”

"How can we love our LGBTQ+ friends well without compromising our faith?"

"How can we answer them in a truthful, but loving way that they will understand?"

If our kids have not come to us and asked these questions, it will be really great if we throw them these questions and see how they will respond. This topic is both relevant and applicable in the culture they grow up in. To answer these questions, here’s a visual analogy you can share with your kids:

Have you guys ever jumped on a trampoline?

Every good trampoline has a net as a parameter or boundary.

“The net” is there to give you protection, so you can jump freely and safely.

Inside the parameter, there is fun and safety.

Outside of it, there’s danger.

One day, if a friend come to you and say,

“I identify as a ‘FREE’ jumper.

I just can’t jump inside that net, that’s not who I am.

Let me cut out a hole big enough on the net, so I can go OUTSIDE the net and jump ON and OFF the trampoline freely.

I find the net too restricting and limiting. I call it a social construct.

I’m free to express my identity, right?

Will you, as my friend, affirm my life choice as the ‘FREE’ jumper?

Will you be my ally? Didn’t Jesus tell you to love everyone unconditionally?”

If you are a good friend and truly love this person,

how should you respond to those questions?

  1. “YES, absolutely!”

I will support whatever decision you make.

I will love you no matter what.

I will affirm your identity and life choice to jump outside this net.



You need the net to keep you safe!

Jumping freely without a good net is dangerous and deadly.

I love you, and I really don’t want you to get hurt or die.

As a good friend who truly cares, I cannot affirm your identity and decision.

I choose to speak the truth, even when it hurts.

The Net here represents gender and sexual identities一the Parameter God has set for us:

1. as a male or a female according to His image &

2. marriage between a male and a female.

If our friend wants to go outside that parameter, he/she is stepping outside the “boundaries” that God has set to keep them safe.

Loving someone doesn’t mean you agree with all of their life choices,

especially if those life choices can take them away from God’s original design.

Speaking the truth doesn’t make you a bigot.

Loving someone unconditionally (Jesus’ second commandment) without loving God first (Jesus’ first commandment) is dangerous and unhinged. Our friends with this kind of life choices can literally end up dead一spiritually. We have to truly love our friends and neighbors by first loving God and by always speaking the Truth.


In summary, here’s a practical application to help our kids remember the main points on how to love our friends without compromising our faith. We call it the “L-O-V-E” steps.

L: Love like Jesus does: LOVE the sinners but HATE the sin.

We hate the sin because it kills, steals, and destroys our friends’ destiny in Christ! If we really love our friends, we want them to receive salvation and a future full of HOPE in Jesus.

O: Original design? Follow it and point our friends to it!

V: Verify the truths:

Loving others doesn’t mean accepting their wrong beliefs as true and right.

Disagreeing with others doesn’t make us a bigot or mean we hate them.

Unequal doesn’t always mean it’s bad.

E: Embrace the person because they were also made in God’s image.

They are equally sinners like us, so they deserve to receive God’s grace and mercy.

Our job is to walk with them and patiently point them back to Jesus.

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